I went to my doctor the other day for a Vasectomy.
Doctor. ‘Why do you want a Vasectomy, do you know it is not reversable?
Me; Well, we took a family vote and I lost….17 to 1  

This Isolation is making some people crazy

I’ve heard some people are really going crazy from isolation. I’m glad I’m not one of those

I’ve just been talking about this with my microwave and toaster while drinking a cup of coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad.

I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything.

Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.

The sink said everything is going down the drain.

In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine, the situation isn’t that pressing.

The vacuum was very unsympathetic. Told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and felt it would all soon blow over.

The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything, but the door knob told me to get a grip.

The front door said I was unhinged…

Then the curtains told me to pull myself together!

Very clever.

Thanks for the laughs Hola and Lucca.

Hi Hola.

I was in hospital for 10 days and lost 3kgs!

I didn't do much exercise just walking around the Ward most of the time watching tv.

I didn't eat bread!

Try giving up bread.

Did you hear the joke about coronavirus? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around!

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a six-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

My parents always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying around on the lounge all day. But look at me now! I’m saving the world!

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing centres and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there!

My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands – that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge!

A retired couple, Barb and Bob, moved to Tamworth. 

Bob had always wanted a pair of R.M. WILLIAMS boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?'

Barb looked him over. 'No Darl.'

Frustrated, Bob stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen, completely naked except for his new R.M. Williams boots.

Again he asked Barb, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Barb looked up and exclaimed, 'Bob, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow, 'cause its always that way'.

Furious, Bob yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, Barb ? DO YOU?'.....'No Darl', she replied.

'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT ME NEW R.M. WILLIAMS BOOTS!!!!'

Without changing her expression, Barb replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bob. Shoulda bought a hat' !!!!

RnR -   That's priceless.