If I keep stress eating at this level, the buttons on my shirt will start socially distancing from each other.

Every few days try your jeans on to make sure they fit, pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Being Quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder.

Since we are all in quarantine, I guess we'll be making inside jokes from now on.

I'm not talking to myself, I'm having a Parent Teacher conference.

Why did the experts lie? They said a mask and gloves were enough to wear to the grocery store, when I got there everyone else had clothes on.

This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat, it was obvious she thought the cat understood her. I came in to my house, told the dog, we laughed a lot.