What next??
PAUL THOMAS on... Christmas standstill at Dover 
Thank you for the laughs guys
Good one RnR
LOL 
<div>No more circuses ...</div>
Sad it is so true RnR
New Year's Resolutions ...
FOOD IN THE FIFTIES
• Pasta was not eaten in Australia or New Zealand.
• Curry was a surname.
• A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
• A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
• Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.
• Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.
• A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
• Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
• Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.
• Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
• Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
• Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
• Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sashimi.
• None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
• Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
• People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
• Indian restaurants were only found in India.
• Cooking outside was called camping.
• Seaweed was not a recognised food.
• "Kebab" was not even a word, never mind a food.
• Prunes were medicinal. Also Castor Oil and Cena Tea.
• Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
• Water came out of the tap.
But the one thing that we NEVER EVER had on or at our dinner table were elbows or mobile phones!!
Lockdown ... who wants to go for a walk?
A Scottish love story
A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said,
"A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin perhaps its aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the
loch. After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin perhaps its aboot time you let me poot ma hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once
again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
"Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"
Squirrels in Church.
The local Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptised all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
Scarecrow humour.