OK, I'm going to put my head on the chopping block here, before I go on, for anybody who takes offence to what I'm about to type, please accept my apologies as it is not my intention to offend, and this is not directed at anyone person, it's just my opinion. 

WHY  DO WE HAVE KIDS???????  After reading all of the posts in the thread "How to handle Boomerang Kids," I find that the majority of posts seem to want to tip the kids out, if they don't fend for themselves they are losers,  make them stand  on their own two feet, only way to teach them etc, etc, etc, so I ask again, why do we have our kids??????,

For me I had my kids to love and nurture them from the day they were born until the day I die, (hopefully that is a still a long way off), growing up they never had chores to do (I had to do a lot of chores growing up and missed out on so many fun things with other kids because of it) in my mind they would have plenty of time to do that kind of work when they grew up, we never gave them pocket money as we felt we were dishing out an 'allowance' (the only rule Hubby put down before we were married was no 'house keeping'  that's what the bank account is for, so was the pocket money. As far as education was concerned, we asked them to go through to year 12 and from there they could go the path they wanted, only one, the youngest wanted to leave school to do a hairdressing apprenticeship, that was when she was in primary school,  I said OK, we'll see when you get through year nine, when year nine came she started talking about subjects she was going to do for year 10, I went through them with her (being very careful not to mention her hairdressing dream lol) she  finished year 12 and after she graduated I asked her why she didn't pull out in year 10, her answer, I wasn't going to be the only one (of the 4) who didn't go through to year 12.

I was a stay at home Mum so I was able to do a lot of volunteer work around the school, went on lots of excursions and many many school camps, I helped the teachers where ever I could, the kids always new I would be at the school somewhere. they all had after school activities which I ran them to, there was football, netball, chess, debating all being done at high levels, our two eldest, girl and boy, have medals from World Championships in their chosen sport, one daughter was an International Model and the youngest played National Netball.  They all  went to University after year 12. They are all lliving on 6 figure incomes, (lot better off than Dad & Mum lol)  We have excellent relationships with our In Laws and the extended family, All in all we are very lucky, however we have put in a lot of effort and hard work into the upbringing of our four children to achieve that outcome.

Why have I put all this forward, because we hear all the time how we do too much for our kids and the above mentioned thread that is currently runniing seems to portray that exact flavor,  I need to put out there that the 'tough love' that every body seems to want to dish out, and is believed to be the only way to 'train' the kids, is not necessarily always correct, well not for every one, I can only speak of my own experiences with my own children, remember we have 4 of them and not one went off the rails, you may say more good luck than good management but I say a hell of a lot of work, what you put in you get out, (all parents would do well to remember that.)

I did not have my kids to love and nurture for the first 15 - 17 years of their lives and then discard them, tell them to get out and to stand on their own two feet, why make rules as soon as they hit a certain age? weren't the rules there all along? Is parents love/ caring able to be switched off like a tap? after the tap is turned off are they on their own......  Do we have our kids until a certain age and then throw them out on the tip like a disused toy?????.... I wouldn't think so,  all my kids have got keys to the front door and they definitely do not knock to come into 'their' home, and it is, and always will be 'their' home, I cook when they are all here, it gives them a break from doing their own. We have regular family meals ( a group of 16) and regularly one of them will ring and ask what's for lunch or dinner, we're on our way. We are always welcome in their own homes and have never felt otherwise.

If the upbringing that my Hubby and I have given our kids is so wrong why then have we such a functional family, 4 kids, no drunkeness, no drugs, bail outs during teanage years, etc,etc, we are the kind of parents that have been ridiculed (for the want of a better word) throughout that thread, everything we've done has been mentioned to be the wrong way in lot of the posts, well I look at my family and just smile as a more loving caring and functional family would be hard to find.

When we have children we can only do what we consider is right for our own kids, we only get one shot at it, I don't understand why we must push them away from us just because they have reached a certain age, if the kids need help, why don't we help them???, if they want to stay with Dad & Mum why can't we see that that is a feather in the parents cap? because that's what it is. My son and Daughter In Law and 3 grandies are going to build a house, in the meantime they are going to stay with us, we have no hesitation with that at all, in fact we are looking forward to it, we are going to be a bit cramped but hey what the heck, (keep us young anyway) if we want to go away we have ready made house sitters lol.

I just wanted to put out there that just because you do everything for your kids doesn't mean they are going to try and rip you off or take advantage of you, enjoy your kids, no matter what their age because you never know that one day they or you may no longer be around. 

Just my thoughts after reading what I thought a very disturbing thread.  Cheers.