Dear Hola

You are not alone.  My mother is in aged care and had a fall last August (2021).  We were told on the 3rd of September 2021 that she had just a few days to live and  to inform the relatives which we did .  This advise came from the Western Health Sunshine acute care unit.  Mum was then sent to pallative care and a month later since more beds were required for COVID patients mum was sent back to Villa Maria Catholic Homes, North Sunshine where she was residing.

My sister and I visit mum every day so that we know that she is getting at least some sort of quality of life.  On many occasions when we went there we found mum lying in poo, lying half naked, and you could hear her calling "hello hello" when you enter the facility.  But because according to them she has calling dementia they dont respond.

When I asked how long before the calling bell is pressed should we expect a response, they say 15 minutues.  When I mentioned that in that time she could have died, they say that is that.

The care manager and the resident manager on many occasions have informed me that they don't give individual care.  

Mum was 70 kgs in August 2021 today she is less than 40 kgs.

Mum is diabetic, yet they give her juices and cordial - so she has diabetic ulcers.

Wound care - they get the Western Health wound care nurse to review her, but we don't have any idea how often the would is dressed.  When asked if they could date the wound dressing so at least the family knows that the dressing is recent - again you get the response - we don't give individual care!! 

When asked if mum ate anything, the usual response is that was the afternoon shift, I am on the evening shift, or the other response is I wasn't the one who was feeding / in care of her.  When asked the RN she says let me check with the PCA and that is how far it goes.

So my sister and me make sure mum has Nutren (diabetic Sustagen) as at least she is getting some sort of nutrients.  When asked how come Mum hasn't eaten her food on the occasions when she is in bed and the food is left on her bed side table - they say we can't force her, she has a right to say no.

According to their convenience she is fully cognitive; and then when they don't answer her call for help she has calling dementia.

What a joke this whole Aged Care has become?  

I am not saying anymore as this is all a scam - they are just taking the money and ...............................

Such tragic stories Hola and Wired.

It's a bloody national disgrace.

Dear Wired,  What a heartbreaking story you have to tell.  Just to sit and watch a loved one fade away is soul destroying. My friend, whom I used to work with  well over 63 years ago and are still friends today, now tells me and her sister- in -law to F...off every time we go to see her.  As I said she hasn't changed her clothes since the last time I saw her, for her birthday. We gave her some lovely sleepwear and slippers and they are still in the wrapped condition she got it.  People have said to forget about her but that's not my nature. When my Dad was in a nursing home for 2 years he was shaven and showered every day. He didn't like their food so I used to take him his favourite plus a couple of cans of beer. At least he was happy there.  Life's a bugger, isn't it? I've always said I hope I go off with a bang so at least my boys won't have any worries.  Hang in there Wired and I'm always there to lend an ear.