Q. Susan

My husband has just retired and unfortunately, we’re having to survive on an Age Pension and modest savings. We’re watching every cent we spend and have had to cut out many of our ‘luxuries’, such as trips to the pub and the odd meal out with friends. We’ve never really lived the high life, but did have fun. This has had a profound effect on my husband, who just sits around at home, feeling sorry for himself and he is taking his moodiness out on me. I’m obviously not happy with the situation either, but feel that we just have to get on with it. What can I do to improve his outlook on life?

A. Giving up work is a big change for everyone and there are adjustments that need to be made. It can be difficult when transitioning from full-time work, with the salary included, to life on the Age Pension. Unfortunately, it can mean having to tighten your belt, but there are a number of options available to you. And the good news is that they do not have to cost you a lot of money, in fact there are a lot of activities available that will cost you nothing at all.

Depending on your husband’s interests and the skill set he possesses, there are many opportunities for him to volunteer his time and energies. It’s worth looking at the type of work he did before he retired and if he enjoyed it, then perhaps he could look for volunteering opportunities in this field. Local community centres are always looking for people to share their knowledge by running courses and this would help improve his feeling of self-worth.

Or, maybe he wants to try something else? If your husband is a keen reader, he may be interested in volunteering at the local library. Perhaps he has a keen interest or vast knowledge of art – becoming a tour guide at an art gallery or museum could be something he would consider?  Does he have an interest in what is happening in your community? If so, now that he has more time he could become involved in local politics. And remember, this is something you can both get involved in which will give you a common interest.

Alternatively, Men’s Sheds offer those with time on their hands, from all walks of life, the opportunity to come together and do something meaningful and fun in their spare time. They offer the chance to do things such as restoring bicycles for local schools, or making a kid’s cubby house for Camp Quality to raffle. It’s also a good opportunity for your husband to meet men who may have given up work and had the same feelings of hopelessness as he is currently experiencing, but who now have a renewed purpose in life. You can find out more by visiting Mensshed.org. 

Has your husband always talked about studying? U3A online offers many courses to older Australians, at a low or no cost. He can choose from course in history or astronomy, or perhaps something more ‘useful’ such as a course in computing. Why not check out what’s on offer at U3AOnline.org.au? 

If he is keen to keep fit and active, joining a walking group might appeal. The Heart Foundation’s website will help him to find a group nearby. The groups are free to join, so as well as a great opportunity to get out and get some exercise, they are also a great social network.

You will probably find when talking to friends that quite a few couples are in the same situation as you and your husband. Why not organise outings or visits to each others homes? A visit to the beach with a picnic during the warmer months, or an afternoon of playing cards or board games during the colder months can be fun. You can also share a meal together, where everyone brigs a dish and shares the cost.

If you have grandchildren, activities such as a visit to the park or a walk around the neighbourhood, collecting leaves or rocks is a wonderful way to enjoy quality time together. Kids are a great way to get you out of a slump. You can spend an afternoon making a kite with them, and on a windy day take them to the park to fly it for an hour or two. And who doesn’t love feeding the ducks? If you don’t have any grandchildren, or if they live far away, there’s nothing stopping you saving your stale bread and heading down to the park yourselves.

Of course, the finances of working less or stopping work can put a strain on a relationship. There are ways you can earn extra money, but you will need to be aware that your Age Pension may be affected. Read YOURLifeChoices article, Making money in retirement for some ideas. If your circumstances are unusually tough, perhaps a free discussion with a Centrelink Financial Information Services Officer could help. You can make an appointment at any time by calling 13 2300. 

Susan, hopefully one or two of these suggestions will appeal to your husband, but it’s important to realise that perhaps he needs a little time to ‘grieve’ the passing of his time in the workforce. No one really knows how he’s feeling and if he’s not the type to express them, then it may be up to you to try and broach the subject when you think the time is right.

Retirement can be a lot of fun, sometimes all it takes is a little time to investigate what is on offer.