There once was golfer called Tiger Woods
He proved to the ladies he could supply the goods
But his wife found out
And started to shout
His once famous name is now in the muds.

So learn from this story my closest mates
If you chomp on new pasture then close the gate
Don't be a goose
With a tongue that's loose
Just play golf with yourself before it's too late.

Composed by Octopus