Still not quite ready.
NI stopped working 10 years ago. I’m now 72 (chronologically speaking). I’m still undecided about retirement.
Firstly, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with it. From what I read, older people seemed to be intent on travelling, doing bucket lists, meeting other older people, saving the planet, looking after other people’s children, living longer, talking about the past and telling the same joke over and over again.
Not that there’s anything wrong with all that.
But wasn’t that what I was doing before?
And why is it that old people look so good on the internet and are always smiling at each other or me? When I look in the mirror first thing there appears to be little to smile about.
ive had to drop the mirror a few cms for a start, just to see myself. and it ain’t a pretty sight. I read with some disinterest in the place about knowing if I our partner is having an affair. I suggested this reading to my wife. She laughed until her sides hurt.
“You?”, she quipped. “Not likely.”
i has all my hobbies when I was working. They were therapy to relieve the stress of working. Now I’m not working I feel as if I need a stressful hobby.
ive travelled all my life. The places I haven’t seen aren’t really worth seeing.
im not really interested in saving the planet. It seems if I don’t use a plastic bag from woolies I don’t see many different. In fact, things seem to be getting worse.
i was more interested in old people when I was young. They were interesting (although they had a funny ‘old’ smell. Now I’m old and smell like that I’d like to mix with young people but they think I smell.
I have 6 jokes I can tell well. You’ve probably heard them.
im to big on babies. They seem ... hard work.
My doctor as well as my therapist, wife, daughter, grand daughter, great grand daughter, neighbour, even the postman, tell me I need to get out more and meet people. So, I’m thinking of buying a motorbike.
im not grumpy or being negative, I don’t think. I’m just trying to figure out where I fit in the end of life phase.
feel free to assist.
tom
Hi Reagan
.thanks for the advice.
im not all oldies are like me; or you, for that matter.
i wasn’t ‘whinging’ as you kindly put it. I was stating how it is for me.
How is it for you?
generally, I’m a rather content sort of person. you know, happy with my lot. It’s just that I don’t see myself where others might like to see me.
Like you, for example. It seems all those things you have suggested are the sort of things that become a person of my age. I’m sort of expected to fall in line, fit in, attend to the needs of the elderly, get out there, as they say.
im constantly being challenged by people of my age to do more of what they do. Take a look at this place, for example.
And when I say how I feel, I’m told to have a hot bath.
id love someone to talk to. I’d love to get out. But when I do I’m confronted with the same old expectations.
If I turn up to a group that I might be interested in I’m seen as either peculiar, lost or a pedophile or sexual deviant.
i wouldn’t even mind having conversation with you, even after your outright rejection of my thoughts.
Anyway, it’s the middle of the day. Why don’t you have a job? What do you do all day? What cheers you up? Where do you meet people? Surely you don’t spend all day in the tub
That’s what I like, someone who gives it right back. Good on you Dingo, you sound like a good bloke. Maybe you’re trying to tap into the wrong groups? What are your interests? How about a men’s shed for e.g. or if you like animals be a dog walker. Join a class, something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time.
As for your questions about myself. I am in semi retirement, having been self employed all my life, kids have taken over and I am on the advisory panel, in other words always on call! Like everyone else sometimes get down in the dumps, but that lasts for a very short time, have a great wife and family connection, that keeps me busy, babysit the grandkids sometimes, teach them all my bad habits. By the way, I do not reject your thoughts.
That’s better.
ive got enough people telling me what I should be doing without you standing in the queue, Reagan.
i live in a place where old people move south as soon as they retire. A few hard heads stay. As things are, we have half per capita of retirees than the rest of Australia. When I go down south I’m amazed at the amount of gray hair on the street.
but here I am. In the tropics. My wife’s family are all here working. That’s why I’m here. Where she is I am. That’s my choice. She has her family to keep her occupied. i don’t have that sort of interest or inclination.
i tried the men’s shed. Full of old blokes who want to talk about wood. I’m a cabinet maker so it’s the last thing I wanted to talk about. I lasted about a year until I made some suggestions about health and safety. They didn’t like that. I left and a month later a bloke cut half his right hand off on a saw without a guard. you noticed how pig-headed some blokes can be? Not me, of course.
i did find that other adults, especially those related in some way, send their kids over to annoy the grand and great grand parents, then expect overnight stays, shopping sprees, holiday trips, school fees payed, clothes shoes and electronic devices provided and discipline enforced. I was a teacher of teens for 40 years. I’ve really had my share of babysitting. Mind you, they are nice kids, well, most are. As long as they are eating they’re quiet.
I figure by the time I get to this level of seniority I can exonerate myself from any responsibility. Hence the motor bike for quick escapes and a week or two in a quiet hospital with a broken limb or two.
but there is an expectation, don’t you think, that all that should be done by us?
Its OK if you’re up to it but I have issues; some physical, some mental.
In addition to that I’d like an intelligent conversation instead of talking LEGO with an 8 year old or baby food trends with a 28 year old.
who wants to talk philosophy or physics, or poetry, or prose, or art, or social geography, or the nature of photography as a means of expression?
So, Reagan, you might well be my new best friend. Prepare yourself. I invariably don’t have an opinion on anything, but I’ll happily do the research to get the facts right.
xheers
tom
Hey Tom, Yeah I don't take kindly to people telling me what to do either, but, sometimes it makes a bit of sense to explore possibilities. So the men's shed is out, at least the woodworking one, but there are others, as you would know. Noticed you're a good writer, ever thought of doing something in that line? You don't strike me as a group person and nothing wrong with being an individual. Thing is though you got to find out what rocks your boat and latch on to that. Put on your thinking cap and dig deep for something that really interests you.
Don’t mention boats. I get sea sick drinking a glass of water.
writing is what I do every day. It’s probably why I’m writing right now. There’s nothing I find more relaxing, challenging, solitary and satisfying. I also do it for therapy. Doctors orders. Seems like I might be a bit loopy. Not in a dangerous way, except to myself. I think my batteries are overcharged or my RAM is full.
still, that’s another story.
Living in Darwin has its limitations. One of everything. If you don’t like the first it’s a 300 km one way trip to the next version. No ballet, no plays, no orchestra to speak of, not a big art scene.
What am I doing? Whinging? Mm. Probably. Sorry old man. Won’t happen again.
Is there a place here I can share some phots and poems? I’ll have a look. Never know. I might find some like minded people to share a laugh with, without having to answer the door or make coffee for more than one.
Bless you, Reagan. And here I was thinking you were just another knobhead.
xx
tom
I am 69 and keep my mind and body healthy playing golf, rock and roll dancing, and sometimes yoga. No need to think and occupies a lot of time.
Strewth the luxury of bleating about the ‘first worldies’ of
‘no plays, no ballet, no orchestra to speak of, not a big art scene’
Have to say I find you about as grating as your best mate Reagan....
Just thought I’d share these sentiments. Have a nice Friday all.
Thanks for your contribution, Stetson 1.
I’ll look forward to your continuing input.
youre right. It is ‘first world’ I crave. I’m assuming you mean some historical culture, artistic expressions, literary and musical endeavours, even scientific discoveries and investigation, and all that. You know what I mean; the stuff that made us what we are today.
perhaps you could tell us of your experiences. What sort of things keep your mind busy? How do you express yourself? What interests you?
cheers
tom
All my kids were born in Darwin ....Hell you make it sound like some sort of ‘one horse town or backwater where everyone is illiterate’....full of public servants of course but then again so is Canberra!..Geeheez Louise heaps of places much worse than Darwin across Oz....
I lived in Alice Springs for years in the 80s and thought it one of the most visually beautiful places I’ve ever lived...not sure what it’s like in 2019, but in the 1980s felt it had a really rich and vibrant cultural and artistic scene on quite a few levels - so perhaps you and wifey could move closer to the centre.
That is your opinion. The Dingo has his own opinion. Why are you trying to put off a new member with your nastiness?
Unsure about the ‘truthfulness of ‘defacing your poetry thread’ claim ol’ girl....I just know after 695 pages and 16,347 pretentious hallmark card quotes along with the usual dreamy, too good to be true visual cut and pasted from the internet - even the most patient amongst us felt the need to gently mention ‘enough is enough’...
Hi Dingo, from Darwin. It's obvious you are a writer, and a good one. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts and can totally relate to just about everything you are saying.
You mentioned you are also a poet. So am I. We poets can be pretty happy left to our own devices. What're the words of that old song? "I have my books, and my poetry to sustain me etc. etc." Yep, we can quite happily become an island. It's a comment, not a whinge, I get it.
I have belonged to various bush poetry sites over the years, but have sort of dropped off the scene lately, not writing much these days. But trust me, you would fit right into one of those groups, and be welcomed without judgement. Maybe you already have dabbled in one or two poetry sites, and if so, there's a good chance our paths have already crossed 'virtually'.
Anyway, welcome to YLC and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Maybe you could try starting a group interested in writing or discussions, similar to the University of the 3rd Age groups.
There are people in Darwin interested in the Arts. Maybe you could try to make contact with them, possibly through an Art Gallery or the Library.
Libraries are often places of information about various groups in the area.
Alternately, as you are so good at writing, how about writing about yours and your wife's life to leave to the family, or a history of the area.
Are you interested in family history? Maybe start working on your family tree. You may find some interesting things have occurred in your family in the past. It nay ev edn give you a reason to revisit some places with a new perspective.
Well Tom, I’ve enjoyed reading your posts. Some would say I’ve retired but in actual fact I’ve just changed direction, i.e. from working in community welfare to writing. There are times when, in my solitary profession, my mind wanders to the numerous grey boomers who take flight on a loop of cruises, caravan or bus tours filling in their time and ‘oohing and aahing’ about where they’ve been just to show they’re busy with retirement. And as I can only speak for myself and not the masses, to me that’s like filling in time till you check out.
From what I remember of Darwin many decades ago it was a tad missing in action, an artistic wasteland but maybe that’s not the case now, i.e. you just have to go looking for your tribe. I get regular blurbs from the NT Writers Centre and the NT Festival and Brown’s Mart. Hey, how about hitting up Brown’s Mart up for a playwright writing program if they’re not already doing one? Feeling the challenge? Maybe it’s time for you to come out of the artistic and philosophical closet and bang your drum for all to hear. Who knows you just may be surprised by those of various ages who are feeling just like you. Someone above mentioned U3A and I joined them so I could attend lectures at our local Uni e.g. Myths, Religion and Ritual but other than that I'm not too impressed with the one where I am but Darwin's may be vibrant. All the best Tom on your path of discovery.
Best thread I've seen on here for ages. :-)
Yeah me too. Dingo you are a laugh a minute, keep up the good work.
Hi Dingo, love your post, you put into words what I've been thinking for ages, it's true what they say - old age aint for whimps, lol
My suggestion, if you are mobile, grab a camera and head for the bush.
Damn!
What happened there?
I had some wonderful prose ready and the site logged out automatically, sending such words of wisdom into the ether or where ever disappearing things disappear to. Same place my phone and the potato peeler went I suspect.
I was saying:
How nice it is to have lots of new friends pinging on my iPad this morning. I did think it was the heart monitor going off at first. At least I'm not dead.
Speaking of dead, I went to a wake of sorts yesterday. I don't normally attend such things but I took the advice of many and went out to meet people. I did wonder, though. If the main character is diseased, and the rest will be mourning, would there be a point in bringing along my usual chirpy nature and sarcastic witticisms?
It turned out to be the usual suspects from around the traps. Golfers, footy mates, work colleagues, hangers-on; like me.
I didn't know the bloke all that well. My wife did. Not in that way. A work colleague. People said amazing things about him. I hope he knew all that before he died.
I should add that Darwin has entered its cultural phase for the year with the launch of its annual Festival. Art, music, plays, acts, stage shows, dancing, multi-cultural events, the Indigenous Art Festival.
It all lasts about 2 months and then we go back to fishing, footy, drinking, racing, strip shows (yep, we still have them - not that I've been, you understand) and other tropical activities.
Darwin is like a little brother you have to drag along because your mother told you to look after him.
It's annoying in a brotherly sort of way. You tolerate it because you have to. It really can't dress properly and is always asking for help, money, something to eat and a cool day. And when you give it something to do it stuffs it up and you have to clean up the mess. And you can never get rid of your Lil brother for good.
Anyway, I'm off to a cultural show today. Not sure what it entails. My wife (never 'wifey'), Christine, bought the tickets on a whim. I'll report back tomorrow on its quality and entertainment value.
And Shetso 1, I'm with you on your preferences. Alice Springs has a lot to offer as well. But it's not for everyone otherwise we'd all live there.
Cheers
Tom
I retired at 62, best thing I ever did. As the old saying is, I'm so busy I might have to put some one on to do it all.
U3A, various schools for oldies, interests relating to past work (rare plants, wildlife surveys, natural greenie stuff etc) plus the usual whinging letters to politicians councils etc about how to fix the world, and so on. I have also taken up music: playing an instrument, reading, listening, sharing. Plenty of folk out there doing that, at all levels from former professionals to just starting out. Heaps of mental challenges...Travel? Not a Grey nomad, but that suits some people. Been there done that? Write about it! Not into writing? Do some stuff with your hands! Train some younger people!
So much to do!
The main thing is that us men are seen as what we WERE, not what we ARE. We were judged by our occupations, not by our selves. Once retired you are seen as a person, not as some position you might have held. Once that sinks in, life become so much better.
I did a few lectures for U3A. Nice bunch. It’s membership has waited over the years and they are struggling to keep going. Such is the risk of dealing with old people. I’ve contacted them a few times since but no response.
i took on a home school student first half of the year. That was fun. Filled my days nicely. she’s back at school now but I’ll be continuing my assistance with her for the rest of the year. mind you, I was buggered at the end of each day. Teens are a handful.
i can’t afford to travel all the time. Besides, I like being at home. I’m off to Europe early next year. Just got back from Italy late last year. We try to travel at least twice a year.
Yeah, I write every day. Good mental exercise. Besides, I can be as abusive as I like when I’m the only one who reads it.
up until now.
He he - I haven't read all the other responses but I think you have missed your vocation- when you were working. Here is the answer.
You would be a great humorous writer, first your life story, next about work, and then about life generally.
if you haven't already read the following I think you would enjoy them
Peter Mayle and Provence
most books by Bill Bryson
others by Gyles Brandreth
Your wife sounds familiar- as unimpressed perhaps as the wife of Rumpole of the Bailey - more good books and also a TV series.
I am still chuckling.
One thing about retirement- find a passion - researching your family tree, breeding some weird animals, fish or plants, take up geocaching.
Good luck and don't forget to write again with the titles of all your books- I look forward to reading them.
Thank you for your response, Crystal Clear.
Christine is like all other women, yet not so. She has all or most of the prerequisites such as the designated homogametes (XX) and the physiological attributes (phenotype) required to express herself as such. She also has the inclination to do just that; ie, express herself.
We met later in our lives. How we did that depends on who you ask. My version involves my being stalked for some years before I noticed this Manchurian blonde appearing suspiciously at any event I partook. I eventually took notice of her, encouraged her, checked her credentials and proposed.
She accepted hesitantly then suggested I renovate the house she owned and we could live there. I had a feeling there and then that I was in for a long haul of carpentry, plumbing, digging of holes and painting.
But I am grateful. She had a sizeable bank account, a significant superannuation portfolio and a substantial amount of property; enough to ensure I wouldn’t be homeless.
i still refer to myself as the Boarder. I clean the house, cook the meals, dig holes, fix things and carry her bags when we travel. And I’m still content with saying: “Yes, Christine”.
Ok since you ask for assistance. First go and soak in a hot bath use some nice bath salts, shave put on some clean gear, get moving, get a p/t job paid or unpaid and stop the whingeing.