If you are over 50 you should take this test

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the
muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.


So, take the following test presented here and determine if you
are losing it or are still "with it," The spaces below are so you
don't see the answers until you have made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and ... begin.





1. What do you put in a toaster?








Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do
something else. Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.









2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?












Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not
attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed
and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World.
If you said "water" then proceed to question 3.







3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is
made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?









Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green
bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these
questions?????

If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.










4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet
over Germany(If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germanyand East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.
Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germanyand West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors? East Germanyor West
Germanyor in "no man's land"?







Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must
NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.
If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.










5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from
London to MilfordHaven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at MilfordHaven. What was the name of the bus driver?









Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? You were driving the bus!!

6 comments

I am SO clever >>>>Wink goes in here.
Good one Fwed >>>> Smiley here.

Good one fwed, Just received notification from the Veterans' Affairs,
That because I live within 5k of Cheltenham cemetery I cannot be
buried there or financially assisted in burial costs if I am...
Very upset about these pen pushers.

Thats ridiculous Seth ,How do they explain that logic? Fwed ,I have to be honest I said milk but I realy loved this one.wobbly

It would be most inconvenient of you to die in the first place, because the number of Dept of Veterans' Affairs staff administering the entitlements of so few 'clients' and eligible dependents would have been embarrassing twenty years ago.

Maybe if you volunteered to be stuffed on death to maintain client numbers, thereby protecting DVA staff structures.

From the most recent DVA annual report it appears that it has a total staff excluding all of those contractors and consultants of 2050. 610 of those are in Canberra, which as the 'national' office (central office in normal language) does not handle 'clients'.

DVA has 400 executive level staff, of which nearly 250 are in Canberra. On top of that there are an additional 28 of the most senior, creme de la creme 'Senior Executive Service' staff, of which 19 are in Canberra. But wait, that does not include senior professional staff including doctors, lawyers (13!), the head of the department and so on.

Only 104 of DVA's clerical staff are ASOC1 or ASOC 2, its most junior positions but still well paid. That indicates an extremely high proportion of staff of the total 2050 who have staff 'supervision' or 'management' functions.

Also, doesn't Centrelink or a central payment body do all of the client payments for Veterans' Affairs and private doctors and private hospitals provide the treatment? In fact DVA sold off all of its hospitals years ago.

Just looking at all of those overheads for providing what must by now, seventy years after the last major conflict, a precedent driven, automatic system, I am very surprised - astounded - that any DVA bureaucrats remain at all and that all remaining 'work' isn't done by the many other large bureaucracies supported by the long suffering taxpayer.

seth, I am left wondering if all of those senior bureaucrats were involved in the decision affecting your funeral plot and if not precisely what difficult management issues and decisions necessitate so many executives and so many staff, all hanging from the public teat?

I hope that answered yorconcerns Seth , but nautilus did not take the test so his answer could be considered to be suspect due to his age,

Thanks for the compliment fwed. Good to be thought of as young at heart and young of mind. Besides, seth's funeral plot was important (and long may it be avoided) and worthy of a short detour.


Ooops, I should have said "I will do it at once, MEIN FURHER!!!"
Hmmm, where is that clip of Carter from Hogan's Heroes somewhere to practice the accent?

Good one fwed, now I have seen these kind of quizzes before so I feel that I had a bit of an advantage before I started.........

6 comments



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