Incomprehensibly, the last coach of the train on a normal route kept getting smashed up by vandals. A porter came up with an idea.

"Why don't we leave the last coach off!"

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels.



"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."



O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."



"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."



O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"

The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "



"Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober.

*Irish Viagra**



An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her

husband's libido.



'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.



'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'



'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'.*



It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it

Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..'



It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress



The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'



'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor...



'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate.

He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!

With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to

tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop!



It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'



'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, ' Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'



'Freakin blimey, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years!

But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!

:red:

.......... :gulp:

....................... :bug:

................................... :roll:



oooooaaaa fwed ............... 8-/



Good one Zapot and great also fwed. I think the naughty one is winning so far.

Sorry I do not know any irish Jokes but this one could be irish

lets say it is a green tomato.



Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.



Sorry and do not feel bad if I do not win. I will understand

A blonde's Brain at work

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.

"Hey, girls," says the brunette one day, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."



So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss.



She quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day.

In the morning, the brunette says: "That was fun, we should do it again sometime."



"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

.







:kiss: :ohh: