Oh Pauline I feel for you as I have been there done that and it is not easy.I dont know what the set up is in N.S.W but here in perth I went to see the local comunity wellfare and social service dept, usually situated at your nearest govt, hospital and talked to them and they organized a ACAT assesment team to visit my mum and asses the situation. They then made recomendations and discussed it with my mother and family. Some times our elderly parents will talk and take more notice of independant people than family. They think that we are trying to push them around and force them into doing things against their will and can be very anti any suggestions we may put forward simply on princapal. Good luck and if you feel you are going to scream come onto this site and vent ,you are not alone there are many of us that can fully understand what you are going through.
God bless you and your mother and hope it all works out.