"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies."
- Gene Hill

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
- Rita Rudner

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
- Dave Barry

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
- Groucho Marx.

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives."
- Sue Murphy

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
- Unknown

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
- Anne Tyler

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."
- Unknown

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
- Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
- Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
- Edward Abbey

"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
- Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail..."
- Unknown

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
- Josh Billings

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
- Holbrook Jackson

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
- Andrew A. Rooney

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"
- Unknown

"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it."
- Abraham Lincoln

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
- John Steinbeck

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
- Rita Rudner

"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk-bone underwear"
- Norm, on "Cheers"
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