Confused about medication
Q. Maeve
My mother is incredibly fit and active, but does rely heavily on several different medications. I have noticed over the last couple of months that she seems to be struggling with what she should be taking and when; there’s more pills than there should be in the bottle, her blood pressure is often raised or erratic, her blood sugar levels are often lower than they should be and she seems more irrational and irritated than she is normally.
This irritation is making it difficult for me to discuss the issue with her, but I’m concerned that she’ll end up causing herself harm. She lives nearby but alone and always has friends popping in and out. Should I ask them if they have noticed anything? Or should I go direct to her doctor?
She enjoys her independence so I’m reluctant to start taking over.
A. You’re right that it would be wrong to take over or indeed have your mother perceive that you are taking over, but it is important to address any issues you think your mother has with her medication.
Asking her friends is a good way to get a feel for how she’s doing when you’re not around, but I think it’s more important for you to treat your mother like an adult and have the discussion with her.
Life can be busy but maybe try spending a few days with her, perhaps getting away for a break. This will give you a feel for her routine and help you pinpoint where she may be going wrong. When preparing for the trip, ask if she has the medication she needs or if she needs to visit her doctor before she goes. You can suggest that you go with her or ask if she can explain her medication to you ‘just in case’.
Take the opportunity while away, and hopefully more relaxed, to ask how she manages on a day-to-day basis and if there’s anything which is concerning her. Remember that a conversation is a two-way thing and by sharing some of what’s going on in your life, you may encourage her to open up. Don’t bombard her with questions or she’ll more than likely clam up and get offended. And don’t forget to take some time to just enjoy being with your mum.
If this doesn’t work and she’s not willing to share her concerns about her medication, then you can of course consult her doctor. However, unless you have a medical power of attorney, you can only advise her doctor of your concerns, as he legally cannot share information on your mother’s health with you without her permission.
Managing many medications can be confusing, regardless of your age, and there are many clever solutions which you and your mother can consider. Apps which remind you what to take and when, pill boxes which enable you to section your medication for the entire month and even ones which sound an alarm when set.
Do you have any advice for Maeve? Have you been in a similar situation?
It would be wise to consult any large pharmacy in the vicinity of your mums home. Most offer a service to go over her medications with her to see if any react with others she is taking. Also, she may be taking more than one medicine for the same complaint. Most of the larger pharmacies will also set your mum up with a "webster pack" That is a container with divisions marked for each day so she can plainly see if she has taken her medications on any particular day. When we get older (and a little forgetful) it is not hard to forget to take or pills some days...... or even worse, take them twice on the same day.