At this stage, especially if you are a little shaky, maybe better to stick to the status quo.

Is the boyfriend physically able to help around the house. I guess if the house is big enough and they pay their way, it might work out for the best to leave things as they are.

Or

Another alternative is to go to a retirement village where there is care and company, and they might have to make other arrangements.

I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you.

Seggie. Hello Murielmay,



It's a hard place you are in and I know exactly what you are up against. It may be better if your daughter and friend stay there until you are really sure you are able to look after yourself. You can (depending on your council), get help to vacuum the house and clean the bath,shower and toilet. Sometimes too, they can get someone to do your shopping for you. It's difficult as one has to find out these things for themselves but I'd advise you to contact your council and ask them. They can usually post you brochures regarding these things.

You can pay for home help from many associations but be aware that some will only come for 3 hours which is far too long for a one-person household. Two hours at the most would be enough, maybe twice a month.

Retirement villages, well, I've posted a few comments on costs and unless you have a very very respectable bank account (and I haven't), lots of investigations as their charges go up accordingly as everything does.

I have friends in quite a few and I'd be there provided I had the money but I haven't. One has to live according to the purse and I'm keeping the moths in there.

All the very best and I do hope things work out for you.

Seggie, yours is a very sensible post. Good on you.

I think seggie & koko have said everything that I was thinking..

It is a tough decision and I wish you the best.

You are between a rock and a hard place, I have friends in the same position--except they have taken their Daughter in and now can get her out and it is they that have to look after her because she is too lazy to look after herself. They haven't the heart to kick her out.



I know myself that as much as I love my family--and they love me-- I would not want to live with any of them. Because I like to be independent. (I hope I can remain that way.



I hope that you can work it out.

Dear Muriel may, you dont say whether you have other children,or when you moved into larger accommodation ,did they contribute to the cost? It seems as though they are prepared to care for you if you are unwell. Have you thought that this may be a solution for your daughters problems if she has an ageing parent ahusband with health issues and she works full time,this may be the best solution in her eyes,While she is earning money ,she has peace of mind knowing that you have someone with you if needed It seems that her life is also not easy, I think you need to have a gentle talk with her ask what their intentions are long term, If you do not have other children to consider,in your will perhaps the house can be altered in some way to give you your own private spaces. where you would have help in the future should you require it, I f you do have other children I think you should seek their help and advice. Getting old is not easy is it you have to walka very fine line to maintain your independence but not alianate your support system along the way.

Hi Murielmay There are some good answers there for you.



Yours is a very difficult position to be in, on one hand I feel you would like your freedom but also need assistance at times,.



Being elderly is a real pain in the rear, just when we can do what we like or health tells us otherwise and causes this kind of dilemma.



I have had the pleasure of raising two grandchildren since birth, they are now 23 and 18, they still live with me, but now I would like to be on my own, although I am only 67 I have eye problems so I can not drive in certain weather conditions and I can't drive at night , the transport near me is appalling, so I do need help there which I get from them as well as friends, and people that take me to church on these occassions, I find I just want to do my own thing without having to always be cooking and cleaning, but as I don't have my own home anymore, it will be difficult financially when they do leave, which they have said they will be later this year , so I understand completely.



If you are not financially burdened perhaps your home could be modified as Wobbly said, or sell up and buy one with a granny flat, to me that would be idea way to go, that way you can have your cake and eat it too. ;-)



I wish you well whatever you decide.



Pushy