An Irishman who had a little too much to drink



is driving home from the city one night and,

of course, his car's weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.

'So,' says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?'

' Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk.

'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had



quite a few to drink this evening.'

'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.

'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight



and folding his arms across his chest,

'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?'

'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk.



'For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf..........................



Keep them coming - a need a good laugh right now - just got another cylinder of gas which has gone up heaps this year as it is very cold in Tasmania - like coldest winter due to climate warming we have had since they recorded the temperatures :)



PS love the beer - well hubbie would had to stop drinking it yonks ago too expensive so a never ending supply would suit all pensioners eh.

For all you Seniors who remember Pam Ayres the English poet here is her latest one as a senior .



A new poem by Pam Ayres



Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits



By Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,

Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,

Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.



'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning,

It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,

And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits



'Cos tits can be such troublesome things

When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.

And although they go well with my Bingo wings,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.



When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,

When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,

When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,

Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.



When I was young I got whistles and hoots,

From the men on the site to the men in the suits,

Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.



When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,

Cruising around with my favourite suitors.

Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.



When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,

When they're less in the air and more near the floor,

When people see less of them rather than more,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

Thank you moregil, loved both your contributions. Pam Ayers certainly tells it like it is. I've been a fan of hers for years. Keep 'em coming.

CLAY good one

MOREGIL i'm a big fan of pam and i hadn't heard this latest one,i went to see her a couple of times and met her afterwards,as soon as i spoke she said blimey you talk like i,she's so natural

and she always remembers people and yet she must speak to hundreds