Thank you for sharing that, wondering. It is a very difficult, confronting and sad situation for any couple to find themselves in. It seems that no matter what decision is made, there will be some who find fault or pontificate and criticise without ever having been in a similar situation themselves.

I suppose anyone in this situation can only research their options, consult with medical and other experts, family etc and in the end, try to make an informed decision that addresses the needs of all concerned as well as they can. It wont please everyone, but then, no decision will.

hi this is loam i did make a comment above this was not ment with malicious

 i nursed my husband with full body cancer with help from palative care

with pain relief.other than that i did every thing. my husbands wish was to

die at home i filled this wish with many misgivings;there were times when

just to wash him change a nappie or just a kiss hurt him ,out of love i would

have put him in palative care to me that would have been much kinder

but also out of love i for filled his last wish,would i do it again?

i dont know all i no is the decision you make is one you

 live with                     loam

The care of the aged is going to be a big problem in the future with our ageing population.

The subject is a big one and complex as is human nature. Maybe there should be a thread devoted to aged care, nursing homes, home care and the expense.

I did not know about the services available until I joined the local Parkinsons group.

there is so much help out there for many sicknesses the thing is you dont know unless

you ask start with your doctor  

                                                   loame

Rusty I have been in your situation I married a man older than myself also he was in a wheelchair,when you feel you can no longer look after him you put him in care,But you must visit often 5-6 times a week and watch what care he is getting and don't be afraid to speak up about his care if need be,

Some people put their old folks in nursings homes/hostels and forget about them,  then when they are dying the relations are all around  the bed like crows on the fence waiting for a sheep to die to get what they want

I used to go every day and sometimes twice a day,I have also work at The Home for Incurrables here in South Australia and seen this first hand